


Can I have this dance?

by aloissssxo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Age Difference, Bisexual Harry, Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Cedric Diggory Lives, Clumsy Harry, Fluff, Harry Potter Has Issues, Harry Potter Has Long Hair, Harry Potter Has Nightmares, Harry Potter Has PTSD, Harry Potter Has Panic Attacks, Harry Potter Has a Crush, Hedric, Hogwarts Fourth Year, Lesbian Luna Lovegood - Freeform, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentioned Draco Malfoy, Mentioned Minerva McGonagall, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Not Canon Compliant, Not Canon Compliant - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, OTP Feels, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Schizophrenia, Shy Harry, Slow Burn, Slow Dancing, Teen Romance, The Golden Trio, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Underage Kissing, Young Love, ginny weasley - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:00:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28148757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aloissssxo/pseuds/aloissssxo
Summary: 'Show me the most damaged parts of your soul, and I'll show you how they shine like gold.'AU where Cedric and Harry get to be boyfriends, like they were meant to be[Updated regularly!]
Relationships: Cedric Diggory/Harry Potter
Comments: 3
Kudos: 61





	1. Liquid Luck

“Ron, are you sure this doesn’t look too tight?”  
Harry asked as he turned to his best friend, T-posing to demonstrate how the arms pulled the material of his dress robes tight slightly at the shoulders. Harry had been worrying about this evening for days now, ever since he had invited Cedric to go to the Yule ball with him. Harry wasn’t usually this nervous about events like this, despite his socially awkward mannerisms - even though that’s what 11 years in a cupboard and being deprived of social interaction does to you. In fact, when the ball was announced, Harry didn’t even bat an eyelid, not caring that having a date was an important part of the event. Harry figured that he, Ron and Hermione would go together, none of them particularly being rushed to find dates, but then he remembered, that Ron and Hermione were obviously going to go together.

Harry had known he was the third wheel for some time now, noticing how sometimes he couldn’t join in with a joke that the two had between them. He noticed how Hermione would lean onto Ron for comfort, and Harry would awkwardly put his hand on her back, not being a part of the hug. He didn’t mind that much, not liking either of his friends in any other way than platonic. However, he did feel a pang of guilt now and then. Harry couldn’t exactly call what he felt jealousy, since he hadn’t really developed romantic feelings for anyone before, being too consumed with other things going on in his life. The closest word to what he felt must be guilt, as he felt like he was holding the two back sometimes. Ron and Hermione didn’t think so, but Harry was well aware that the two were careful not to do certain things around him. Harry would notice when Ron and Hermione would switch topics when they saw him walking into the great hall. He noticed how they would stop giggling and flirting when he came down from the dormitory and into the common room. He saw the look Hermione would give Ron when he brought up something that happened when Harry wasn’t around. He knew of course, that the two were only doing it to make him feel more included and to make him feel like he was in on everything they did together. They wouldn’t want Harry to feel like be was being excluded or removed from their lives, but it just made Harry feel guilty. As If his best friends couldn’t show how happy and comfortable they were together.

Harry told the two that he didn’t mind the two dating, and that he didn’t feel uncomfortable or left out - and it was half true. Harry did feel left out, but not in the friend group, just in general. He’d never been one to brag about his appearance, and he hadn’t half the confidence that the other students assumed he had. Harry just saw himself as a plain boy. A boy with no extraordinary talents. Just someone who happened to be casted this life, a life full of terror and mystery. He couldn’t envision himself being attractive to another human being, since he’d hardly the time to meet many people. Most people ‘liked’ him due to the legacy behind his name. But that’s all they liked, the name, not the actual boy. Harry Potter - ‘The Boy Who Lived’, the legend was what appealed to others, not his clumsy and awkward personality. He’d never experienced love before, and the only love he had in his life was taken from him when he was only a year old. He couldn’t remember his parents, and he couldn’t remember ever being told he was loved. Sometimes, Harry wondered what it felt like, to love. He gathered that love felt somewhat like excitement, from the way it had been described. How your heart would swell, how you felt like everything was perfect, how you were safe and content… like you were at home. Perhaps Harry loved Hogwarts. Hogwarts was his home, his heart would swell when he saw the turrets of the towers come into view when he rode the Hogwarts Express at the start of every year, knowing he would be back where magic was accepted and he was able to forget about muggle life. However, life wasn’t perfect at Hogwarts, not for Harry. He couldn’t say he was safe either. Every year there was always a threat. He was always hunted, and he doubted he would be able to escape the dark lord any time soon. So maybe Harry didn’t love Hogwarts, not the same way Hermione loved Ron and vice versa.

Once he realised that Ron and Hermione would be attending the Yule ball together, he knew that he couldn’t just tag along. It wouldn’t be fair on the two for him to third wheel this, not on the one night where the couple could truly enjoy themselves. Harry wanted his best friends to enjoy the night and to experience it as a couple, instead of watering it down to include their other friend too. This wasn’t an adventure the three would tackle together. After forgetting about the possibility of attending the Yule ball with his two friends, he racked his brain for other possibilities, his mind drifting over other people he knew. He thought about asking Luna, seeing as she wouldn’t have a date, however he knew that Luna was a lesbian, and so he didn’t want to possibly make her uncomfortable or have her go through the guilty feeling of declining his offer. He thought about other girls he had spoken to and girls that would agree to put up with his presence for a few hours, but his mind faltered. He could ask Ginny… but she was Ron’s sister, and he didn’t want to have any kind of tension between him and Ron, especially since Harry had no feelings for the younger girl and he didn’t want to appear like he was leading her on, especially since she had a crush on him.

It wasn’t until Hermione had suggested over lunch one day that Harry asked a boy to the dance, that Cedric drifted into Harry’s mind. Harry was in the middle of taking a few gulps of water at the table after Quidditch practise when Hermione blurted out that asking a boy was possible, and Harry ended up choking on his water, coughing and spluttering - covering his mouth to clear his throat.  
“Blimey, Hermione. Don’t out me to everyone, will you?” Harry asked with his eyebrows raised, still coughing a little as he spoke.  
“Well… it’s not a ridiculous thing to suggest.” Hermione said quietly, pushing her rice around her plate as she looked between Ron and Harry.  
Harry hadn’t openly ‘came out’ about his sexuality, mainly because he didn’t see a need to. He hadn’t ever considered his sexuality, purely because he had no time to. His entire adolescence had revolved around surviving, and romance and reproduction never came into the picture. Harry never saw himself set to any specific gender, and so it was only natural that he ended up labelling himself as bisexual when he brought it up one night in the common room. The only reason why Harry was keeping it quiet, was because the last thing he needed was to endure the Ministry of Magic’s interrogations into his private, romantic life. They’d be sorely mistaken though, because there wasn’t one, and Harry could save himself the embarrassment of having to admit that he had no partner or significant other. Harry didn’t feel ready to announce to the world that the ‘famous wizard who defeated you-know-who’ had the extra title and tag of being bisexual too.

“She is right, y’know.” Ron stated, crossing his arms and leaning across the table a little, lowering his voice so others around them wouldn’t listen in. “Just because the tradition is to bring someone of the opposite sex, it doesn’t mean it’s a rule.”  
“It’s called a tradition for a reason, it’s not broken. If I asked… a boy-“ Harry whispered the last two words as if they were cursed. “-to the dance, then I’d be the first to do so. I can hear them now, ‘The famous Harry Potter, the youngest first year to join the Quidditch team as a seeker, the boy who defeated the dark lord, the boy who stopped the heir of Slytherin from returning… is now the first to bring a boy to the Yule ball!’. No… I’d rather just stay in our dormitory all night.” Harry mumbles quietly, not having much of an appetite for lunch. Ron and Hermione looked at Harry, with Hermione sighing and shaking her head a little bit.  
“Harry, you know that if you don’t attend the ball, Professor McGonagall will be chasing you down all night. Even with your invisibility cloak, I doubt she will let it slide. You’re the pride of Gryffindor, she won’t take it lightly if you don’t attend.” Hermione says. Of course, she was right, as always. Harry sighed and looked down from the pair, looking at the metallic plate, and his reflection shone from the perfectly polished silverware. He thought it over. He knew that he had to attend, he just didn’t know how he could attend without a date. He knew for a fact he couldn’t turn up alone, it would be too embarrassing. He supposed he could play it off as a platonic ‘date’ with another boy. Surely… nobody would need to know if it was purely platonic or not.

Harry’s heart skipped a beat, he looked up from his empty plate at the pair across the table from him and thought to himself silently whilst Ron and Hermione stared at him expectantly, wondering what the other boy had thought of. Harry’s heart did a mini somersault in his chest as he thought about asking Cedric. The boy who was three years his senior, in his final year. Cedric and Harry had bumped into each other in the corridor a few times, and it wasn’t rare for the mousey haired boy to ask to sit next to Harry in the library, choosing to help him with his studies rather than work on his own. If the perfect Hufflepuff was embodied in a person, it would be in the form of Cedric Diggory. He was kind, loyal, curious and caring. Somehow, Cedric would find Harry at the most random of times, often when he was on his way to or from Hagrid’s - always asking him how his day was. Unlike others, Cedric didn’t seem to care for his entire ‘boy who lived’ backstory. In fact, Cedric was the only person who’d never brought up any of his past adventures and mishaps at Hogwarts, apart from the Triwizard Tournament every now and then, but even still - he didn’t mention it an awful lot. He knew that Harry still struggled to sleep most nights.

He could only imagine how scary it must’ve been to have seen his body lying in such a way. Cedric had spent a few weeks after the incident thanking Harry for saving him, but he learnt quickly to stop mentioning it, since Harry only ever responded with how he didn’t want to remember it. Cedric remembered being knocked out by Wormtail, Harry deflecting the killing curse, just enough power hit Cedric to knock him into a comatose state, which was as close to being dead as possible while retaining his health. If it wasn’t for Harry being fast to deflect the curse, Cedric wouldn’t be there still. As grateful as Cedric was, he cared more about how Harry was doing. Harry didn’t speak of what happened after Cedric was unconscious, and Cedric respected that. He suspected it was too awful to speak, and he didn’t blame Harry for being traumatised either. Harry was grateful for Cedric being there for him, since he often asked about what Harry wanted to do in the future, and he tried to make Harry smile and laugh, and see the good in life. Harry didn’t see his future being bright, and he wasn’t entirely sure where things were going to lead. He never knew what danger would appear by the end of the school year, so he never planned his life out. Cedric was the one who kept giving him ideas, and they were never ambitious or ludicrous dreams, they were always tangible and achievable.

“What is it?” Ron asked after a few seconds of silence, not entirely sure what they were waiting to hear. Harry finally spoke up after collecting his thoughts, deciding what he was going to do.  
“I’m going to ask Cedric.” He said quickly, as if he was definitive on it. Hermione looked at Ron and then back at Harry again. The two had heard of previous encounters between Harry and Cedric, admittedly not all of them, since Harry didn’t tell the duo everything about his crush on the older boy - but they most certainly knew enough to tell that Harry would fall apart like jelly in the face of the older boy when it came to actually asking him to go to the ball.  
“Harry, is Cedric even…” Hermione looked sympathetic towards Harry. It was common for wizards and witches to hide their sexuality, especially up until the fifth year. There were a few who didn’t care and had been open their entire time at Hogwarts, such as Luna and Katie, but most magic folk kept it secret since there was no representation or display of acceptance. That’s not to say that Hogwarts didn’t accept it - because there was no rule or display of homophobia anywhere, and it wasn’t abnormal in the slightest. If anything, it was more normal in the Wizarding World, however… the fear of stepping out of line or standing out too much is what kept people quiet.

Harry thought about what Hermione asked, and for a second he felt his heart sink. Cedric had never specified what he identified as, most probably because it never came up in conversation and it had never even crossed Harry’s mind. Almost selfishly, Harry had just assumed that Cedric liked him. Perhaps it was the way Cedric would walk away from his friend group just to wish Harry a good day in the courtyard on the way to class, or it was the way he would occasionally sneak a pumpkin pasty to the library for Harry whilst he studied, even though food was completely banned in the library in fear it would stain the books.  
“Actually… I’m not sure.” Harry admitted, catching glance of Hermione’s sympathetic face. Ron then cleared his throat and tried to change the sudden pessimistic atmosphere, since Harry was starting to doubt if he could ask Cedric.  
“There’s only one way to find out.” The ginger boy suggested, and then continued to speak once Harry and Hermione turned their attention on him. “I mean, just ask him to the ball. His reaction should tell you enough. If he accepts is as if it’s no big deal, then he will go platonically with you. If he rejects… then perhaps he’s already found a date.” Ron says and starts to grab some food to put on his plate finally, feeling like the conversation was drawing to a close. Harry hummed in thought, it was a good idea. Hermione chirped in again.  
“Yes, and if he accepts, and doesn’t brush it off… then I think it’s safe to make the assumption he likes you back. I definitely think you should ask him, Harry.” Hermione says, smiling a little at her best friend. “But…” She starts, her smile changing to be a little bit more wary. “You should remember that you always stutter in front of him. Perhaps try not to stutter much... or else you might end up backing out of it, and then you really will be going to the Yule ball alone. We don’t want that.” Hermione says and takes a sip of her own drink. It was true that Harry got all flustered in front of Cedric, and he seriously needed to try and control that before he asked Cedric to attend the ball with him.  
“Maybe I should get some liquid luck-“ Harry suggested jokingly, to which Hermione and Ron both responded in unison,  
“NO!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading the first chapter to my first HP Hedric fic!   
> I would really appreciate it if you left a comment or kudos! Let me know what you thought, I update this pic often, almost every other day. I have loads of free time at the moment and lots of inspiration.   
> Added prompts would be open to consideration, and I'll be sure to dedicate the chapter/credit the prompt association with the chapter! 
> 
> For now, I hope you enjoy!   
> Thank you again, for all your support!


	2. Not bad, Diggory

So here Harry was, standing in front of his mirror in the Gryffindor dormitory, turning each way and checking that his dress robes looked alright. Harry wasn’t entirely sure on it himself, but Ron was trying to assure him that it was fine. Harry wore a long plain black robe with a white shirt underneath, with polished shoes to match. The robe was slightly tight on his shoulders, and Harry worried that if he hunched his back at all, the stitching would pull and he would rip it. Another concern that Harry had was that he looked too plain. Harry was already rather plain with his brown hair and blue eyes, not to mention his round glasses and thin lips. Harry only liked one of his features, and that was his rather prominent scar on his forehead, in the shape of a lightning bolt. As much as he liked this aspect of himself, he covered it usually, not liking it when people stared at his forehead, especially when he was speaking to them.  
“Mate, you look fine.” Ron assured Harry, walking beside him and looking in the mirror too, not seeming to understand why Harry was so nervous. “Cedric isn’t going to criticise your outfit, I’m sure he’s been worrying all evening too.” Ron says half-heartedly. Harry heard the way Ron said that, and he had to admit that he agreed with Ron’s attitude. There was no way that Cedric had been worrying all evening, Harry was positively sure that Cedric had his worries all under control. Why on earth would a seventh year be worrying about meeting a fourth year, it probably didn’t even cross his mind to worry.

“Come on, our dates will end up waiting for us after everyone else has gone in. We don’t want to be late.” Ron says and pulls in Harry’s arm a little, trying to budge him away from the mirror. Harry sighs, tousling his hair a little finally before he turned away from the mirror. As always, his hair wasn’t able to be contained. He didn’t even bother to try and brush it, it never listened to what he wanted it to do.

Leaving through the hole in the painting, the two boys made their way down the staircases towards the great hall, both boys slightly nervous. Usually Ron was always the most nervous, quaking whenever something truly made him nervous, however the table had turned this time. Perhaps it was because Hermione wasn’t as intimidating as other girls, on the basis that Ron wasn’t hyping himself up to impress some random girl. This was Hermione, who had seen him as a complete mess, so seeing him dressed up was just a special occasion for the both of them - not a first impression. Harry could’ve said something similar, since he’d seen Cedric multiple times before, however this just felt different. There was no established relationship like there was between Ron and Hermione, not to mention the two-boys-at-the-ball situation they had to manage. Sure, the two could pass it off as platonic to any prying eyes or people who wanted to go blabbering to the Ministry, but it wasn’t going to be impossible to work out that Potter had brought a boy to the Yule ball as a date.

Harry remembered how he was a blubbering and flustered mess when he asked Cedric to go to the ball with him. He went to him with rosy cheeks and uneven footing, leaning his weight on one foot to another, awkwardly whispering his proposal, which lead to Cedric asking him to repeat himself since he didn’t hear his question - causing Harry to go a brighter shade of pink. Once he’d gotten his words out finally, his Gryffindor scarf blowing in his face since the two were standing in the courtyard during a windy and cloudy morning, Cedric’s response was nothing less than satisfying. Remembering it, Harry chewed on his bottom lip. Cedric’s face had been one of confusion while he tried to decipher Harry’s blur or words, but once he’d figured what Harry had asked, his face smoothed out and his lips turned up into a smile. One of those smiles, the smiles Harry couldn’t help but also smiling at. He didn’t even know that he smiled whenever Cedric chuckled or smiled heartily, it was almost like an addicting habit. Cedric had chuckled at the boy that stood before him, a few feet smaller.

  
“Of course, there’s no need to be so embarrassed.” Cedric said kindly, almost as if he knew exactly why Harry was so flustered. It was a sight to see, Cedric thought. Harry’s cheek were full of colour, which was a rare sight as it was, but he also had a smile on his face, albeit hidden slightly by his big scarf around his neck, but it was endearing. His long, tousled hair blew in the wind, and his eyes were lowered as Cedric looked at him, and Cedric felt his heart swell.  
“Of course I’ll go the the ball with you, but… don’t you think people will question why Diggory is with Potter?” Cedric asked, not even questioning the obvious elephant in the room, about their genders and sexualities. Either he was being as kind as ever, or he was totally oblivious to heteronormativity.

Harry chewed the inside of his cheek, looking up at Cedric. He could practically feel Hermione and Ron’s eyes burning into his back from across the courtyard, pretending to be standing about and talking, though it was rather clear they were trying to eavesdrop and make sure everything was going smoothly. Harry thought about this himself, so he was able to answer this question without stuttering like the mess he was.  
“Well, there’s nothing about limits on what years can ask others to the ball. I don’t think there’s a big deal between a fourth year and a seventh year.” Harry says and looks between Cedric’s perfect face and the interesting blade of grass on the floor. Cedric couldn’t help but agree, and it’s not like the two didn’t have any connections at all. Everybody knew how the two were the victors from the Triwizard Tournament, and they’d been through a lot together. It would make sense for them to go to the ball together, either as platonic or romantic partners. The interesting thing would be seeing what kind of partners they would be.

As Harry and Ron reached the bottom of the staircase towards the entrance to the great hall, Harry looked up from his feet, seeing Cedric. Ron was right, their partners were waiting for them. Perhaps they were running late? Harry felt obliged to apologise to Cedric now, especially since he’d kept him waiting. Worries crept into Harry’s head, replacing the ones about how he looked, now being focused on the fact he’d let Cedric down. However, Cedric didn’t seem disappointed or changed in the slightest, in fact he was talking to Hermione, his height towering over her easily. Their conversation came to an end once Hermione had heard the defending footsteps coming towards them, turning her head to see Ron. She smiled, stepping forwards slightly from Cedric’s side to approach the ginger boy. Ron smiled sheepishly and took her hand in his, and they started a conversation which Harry heard nothing of. Harry was too busy collecting his nerves and quieting the thoughts buzzing around in his brain as he walked towards the Hufflepuff before him. Harry doubted he’d ever looked so nervous before. This was unlike him, Harry was usually unbothered by other people, and he didn’t get embarrassed easily - but this was an exception. Cedric was an exception.

Finally calming his mind, Harry took in the sight before him. Cedric was wearing a black suit, with his dress robe over it. He looked dashing, adorning his waist with a black sash, somehow extenuating his waist more. Looking more carefully, you could make out a light gold, yellow lining around his cuffs and collar, and Harry couldn’t help but chuckle on the inside. Yellow was certainly Cedric’s colour, not only because it was his house colour, but because it beamed off his face perfectly, illuminating every perfect feature. Cedric truly was a Hufflepuff through and through. Harry’s eyes went from Cedric’s outfit to his face, and the most beautiful smile greeted him. Cedric had this wide smile on his face, somewhat replicating pride… was it pride? His eyes turned into little crescents, and his cheeks were soft. It was similar to how Ron smiled at Hermione, what was that? Harry couldn’t work it out.

“Hi, Harry.” Cedric says first, seeing how the younger boy had a clear disposition about him. The lump in Harry’s throat only grew more, causing him to force words out, pushing his nerves to the bottom of his stomach.  
“Hi, Cedric.” He musters, clenching and unclenching his hands. Harry realised as the two came face to face, that Harry was strikingly shorter than Cedric. He stuck out like a sore thumb, only reaching his chest when standing straight. Harry had to look up to see Cedric’s face, and it forced the blood to rush to his face.  
“I’m sorry to keep you waiting-“ Harry spoke, trying to think of some excuse which would have justified kept Cedric waiting. What if Cedric thought that he’d showed him up or tried to make a fool of the older boy? Harry was cut off before he could lie.  
“It’s fine, honestly, Harry. Don’t worry, going in later is better, since we can sneak in without all eyes being on us.” Cedric says with a chuckle, looking besides them to notice how Hermione put her arm in Ron’s, turning to go into the hall. “Shall we, Harry?” Cedric asks, offering his arm too, a warm smile on his face.

Harry nodded, trying to calm his raging nerves, knowing that there were going to be whispers and gossip going around the castle for days after this. Harry reluctantly looped his arm in Cedric’s, and the older boy kept their intertwined arms close to him.

As the couple walked into the hall, the doors slowly and gently shut behind them, as if the castle itself knew that they were the last two to go into the ball. Harry gulped as he saw the amount of people inside. Of course, he did expect a crowd as most of the school was attending throughout the night, but Harry was still surprised to see the actual amount. Perhaps it was the nerves that made him feel like there were more people there than in reality. He wasn’t sure, but the amount he expected was still less than this. Looking around, Harry noticed familiar faces. He noticed his Quidditch team were there, all of them, smiling and conversing at one side, most of them sitting and some standing with glasses around a table, drinking and laughing. Seeing these familiar faces helped for Harry to gather his worries, and he looked around at others, seeing some other friends of his. He saw Neville, Seamus and a few other boys from his classes to his right, standing with their dates and making small talk. Harry didn’t feel so nervous seeing all of these familiar faces around him, and in fact, he started to feel a small stroke of confidence. He looked up at Cedric, who was also looking around to see anyone he knew. There weren’t many seventh years at the ball, most likely since a lot of them were studying for their finals exams. Harry wondered why Cedric wasn’t doing the same, surely Cedric would care more about his final exam results than spending a night with him?

Cedric must’ve felt Harry’s eyes on him, because he looked down towards the younger boy, seeing Harry absent minded somehow. Harry noticed Cedric’s gaze and looked away, looking directly in front of them, as they stole towards the side too. Few people looked towards them and then looked away. It would be a lie to say that none of them whispered and pointed them out, but it also wasn’t like everyone was staring and pointing.  
“Harry, did you style your hair that way tonight?” Cedric asks cheekily, trying to start a conversation, being unbothered by some people’s stares and whispers. Harry looked up at the other and scoffs, leading the pair to stand beside a column outlining the dance floor, just under the shade outlining the spotlights.

“No, I didn’t, it’s always like this.” Harry says, his back against the stone column, Cedric standing beside him, an arm leaning on it. Harry’s attitude wasn’t rude, as it could’ve been assumed by the way he scoffed and spoke plainly, he was just anxious. Cedric sensed this and so he didn’t take Harry’s reaction to heart, he understood.  
“Really? I didn’t notice.” Cedric lies with a chuckle, playfully joking with Harry. Harry smiles a little, still self-conscious about the atmosphere. It was a forced smile, but it was still there.

A few seconds passed of the two standing in silence, observing the room. Whispers died down and people started to go back to their own business and Harry started to relax.

“Sorry for being so tense, I get so stressed, knowing everyone is staring at me - us, whatever-“ Harry stutters, cringing at himself a bit, but Cedric shook his head. Harry hadn’t looked at Cedric much, looking at his feet a lot, but the movement caught his eye and he looked up at the other man, seeing his face in the dark shadows.  
“No, it’s okay, I get it.” He says warmly. Harry nodded a little, looking at Cedric for a few seconds before looking away again.  
“So,” Harry starts, looking around the hall, seeing others dancing with their significant other on the dance floor to classical music. “What did Professor Sprout say about you leaving Herbology early?” Harry asked, knowing Cedric requested to leave her class early to get ready for the ball.  
“Actually, she was completely fine with it. I don’t have much to study for in her classes, because I find Herbology second nature, and she knows that. Plus, when I told her that I was attending with you, she didn’t dare say no. As head of Hufflepuff, she recognised the importance of our attendance.” He says with a small smile, even though Harry didn’t look at it.

Harry was still looking ahead of him, looking at the men and women dancing together, watching how the men twirled their partners around the hall, the soft giggles erupting from the bystanders and even those taking part when a foot was trodden on or a dress caught here and there. People were taking it easy, celebrating the festivities of the recent events. Harry had been listening to Cedric, but was also thinking to himself. Once Cedric had finished speaking, he nodded and caught sight of Ron and Hermione entering the dance floor slowly, Ron pulling Hermione on more than the other way around. He saw how Hermione refused softly, but didn’t seem to be outright upset, more like she was being playful. Ron was chuckling and pulling her along gently, and he saw how their hands always fit in the right places. It made him happy, but it also made him sad. He watched how the two began to sway with the music, and how Ron would tease Hermione when her hair went in her face. He smiled, and Hermione caught sight of him as they passed, and she rolled her eyes, gesturing towards Ron, and Ron swept her around, taking her away from Harry and Hermione’s exchanging glances. Harry chuckled a little, but his chuckle faded as he stayed in the shadow beside Cedric.

Harry thought about it, what did that feel like? Being swept off your feet, laughing with such a carefree attitude. What did that feel like? To be held so gently, to be whispered sweet promises? He watched in envy, of what he wanted. Harry’s thoughts came to a close when Cedric cleared his throat beside him, noticing Harry’s forlorn expression.  
“Harry?” Cedric asks, trying to get his attention, also straightening a cuff. He waited until Harry turned his head and then he spoke.  
“Would you like me to go talk to them?” Cedric asks. Harry stops for a second, what?  
“Hm? Talk to who?” Harry asks with a puzzled expression, not knowing what Cedric was insinuating. It wasn’t until Cedric nodded in a certain direction, just to the side of where Ron and Hermione had passed, that Harry caught sight of what Cedric was gesturing to. At one of the circular tables, there was a group of Slytherins. Of course, Draco and his disciples. Harry hadn’t thought about Malfoy’s relentless teasing before now. Draco didn’t seriously affect Harry, because Harry could care less what he thought, but it was the premise that he was always there to try and egg him on. Harry caught Draco’s gaze, and Harry looked away almost immediately, acting as if he hadn’t spotted the group of Slytherins chuckling and muttering between themselves, being drowned out by the music piece being played over them.  
“No. It’s alright.” Harry says, turning his back a little bit to turn away from the Slytherin table, looking more towards Cedric. Harry knew that Cedric must’ve noticed his negative mood, and he must’ve looked out for any possible trigger. Knowing that made Harry feel something, and once again he couldn’t name it.

  
“They weren’t bothering me. I didn’t even notice they were there.” Harry said truthfully, and that made Cedric turn his head a little, somewhat confused himself now.

“They weren’t? Then what was it? I could tell you were uncomfortable, and when I tried to guess what it was, that was the only thing in here that I thought it could be.” Cedric says truthfully, and Harry felt something inside him soften as he heard Cedric sound slightly concerned. But then Harry thought about what it was that upset him, and he became hesitant to tell the other what is was.

“Well,” Harry started, and stopped again. He sighed, he just had to open up. If Cedric could open up to Harry about his problems, then Harry should do the same he figured. “It’s going to sound really pathetic.” Harry says and then chuckles a little weakly, looking at the older boy again, but Cedric’s concerned expression didn’t change. “I just wonder what it’s like, to be my friends.” He says and looks at the two, dancing together. He looked away and back at Cedric again, The way his eyes seemed to sparkle, even whilst standing in the shadows, made Harry’s heart flutter. There was something about the way he spoke, his stance and his expressions that just made Harry want to melt like butter whenever they had the opportunity to talk.  
“Yeah…” Cedric mumbled quietly, seeing how they seemed to happy as well. He looked back at Harry. “I mean, they do have it easier, I will admit. You’ve been through a lot Harry, I don’t blame you for envying them. They get to forget about everything when they go home at the end of term.” Cedric says, assuming Harry was commenting on the smoothness of their lives.

With a shake of his head, Harry looked at his polished shoes again. He could almost make out his own reflection in them, but his eyesight wasn’t that perfect. He looked back up at Cedric after a few strums of the violin, sighing shallowly.  
“No, that’s not what I meant.” He said quietly and then tried to explain himself the best he could. “I suppose I do envy how they can go home at the end of term, and that’s a part of it. Home… that’s something I don’t have. Home is where your parents are, your loved ones. Home is where you’re safe and where you can relax from everything. At the end of term… I can never be sure where I’m going. Sometimes I’m at Ron’s, sometimes I’m at the Dursley’s. I don’t have any parents. Nobody to…” Harry stopped, the lump in his throat returned almost immediately. He felt bad monologuing, but Cedric urged him on.  
“Harry, go on…” He said almost eagerly, wanting the younger boy to speak his part.  
“I don’t have anybody who loves me. Not in that way.” He whispers out, away from prying ears. “I don’t really know what love feels like. I thought I’d felt it before, but boarding the Hogwarts Express can’t equate to the way Ron looks at Hermione. See?” Harry mumbles, gesturing to the pair.

Cedric listened and took it all in, his expression becoming soft and sentimental. He wanted to put his hand on Harry’s shoulder, but he had no clue what the boy’s limits were.  
“Harry, that’s not true-“ Cedric begins, but he was cut off. He felt like telling Harry something very important, but he was also nervous.  
“It is, Cedric.” Harry says shortly, looking a mix of sad and angry at Cedric. The Hufflepuff understood Harry didn’t mean to come across as truly angry or annoyed, nor did Cedric interpret it that way.  
“Hey, listen.” Cedric started again, pausing his thought on telling Harry something, knowing it could wait. He knew he had another thing he wanted to tell Harry anyways. “You don’t need to worry about having or finding a home…” Cedric says as the music came to a stop, slowly coming to an end, and another would shortly begin. Cedric looked down to find Harry’s hand, seeing it tucked to his side, his fingers tickling his own palm as he fidgeted. Cedric bent down ever so slightly to take Harry’s hand in his own, offering him a smile.

Harry looked up to Cedric, his expression of sadness and anger disappearing into one of slight confusion and surprise.  
“What are you-“ Harry was about to speak but then again got cut off.  
“Let me…” Cedric paused and swallowed, his slight show of nerves actually being a comfort to Harry, reminding him that Cedric was human too. Cedric was also nervous about something. Harry wondered what Cedric - tall, handsome, kind, charming Cedric, could possibly be nervous about. “…Let me help you find your home.” Cedric whispered carefully. Harry’s face contorted to even more confusion for a second, was Cedric implying…

“Students!” A familiar voice called out, the dance floor cleared out to reveal Professor McGonagall standing there, clearly announcing something to the students. Her sudden speech disturbing Harry’s train of thought. “Thank you ever so much for showing up for this year’s Yule ball, it has been such a pleasure to see you all dressed up, especially with your partners. We still have a few hours left of the ball, but for now, we have the cross-house dance. You may join either your partner, or another person from another house. We shall now celebrate the unison between the four houses. Thank you.” Professor McGonagall announced, as the students clapped at her speech. Words were exchanged in the hall as people went to find either their partner or their friends, anyone who wasn’t in their own house.

The perfect opportunity, Cedric thought.  
“Harry,” Cedric spoke, standing straight, getting away from the pillar, turning away from Harry, stepping forwards towards the dance floor, turning as he was illuminated in the light from above, his hand out stretched. Harry was standing in the dark, small and slight like a timid animal. Cedric stood like a monument, glowing and spreading this soft and gentle aura. It seemed enticing, and Harry couldn’t help but smile ever so slightly.  
“May I have this dance?” Cedric asked, an eyebrow raised. This dance was an opportunity, one where they didn’t have to worry about portraying a certain image to the public. It was cross-house, so surely they could use that as an excuse…

Harry looked around the hall, nobody’s eyes were on them, everyone was buzzing with excitement for this dance, this moment being one that everyone looked forwards to. He sheepishly nodded, his arm going out to take Cedric’s. Was this really happening? Was Harry going to dance with Cedric? Before he knew it, Harry was standing in the light, his heart thudding as he wasn’t hiding in the shadows. There were loads of people on the dance floor, more than before for sure. Cedric guided Harry into the crowd, turning to face the shorter boy.  
“I-I’m not the d-dancing type, Cedric.” Harry stuttered as a warning, seeing how Cedric took Harry’s hands, placing them on his body. Harry’s left hand was in Cedric’s, outstretched to one side, whilst his right was on Cedric’s waist and Cedric’s was on Harry’s upper back, the two standing at a suitable distance apart.  
“You’ll be fine, I’ll guide, just follow my lead.” Cedric affirmed, smiling down at Harry, and Harry blinked back at him, his heart skipping a beat at how they exchanged glances, their eyes locking for a moment.

As the music started up, Harry made sure to follow Cedric’s lead, trying to do his best to place his feet in the right places and to narrowly avoid falling into anyone either behind him, or Cedric himself. Harry felt his nerves come back as the music kicked off, feeling like he had to get every move perfect. He was focusing on the strategy of dancing and not the feeling of it.  
“Harry, relax-“ Cedric said quietly, always smiling and being kind to him. Harry tried, looking up at Cedric’s soft expression. Harry could see that Cedric was enjoying this moment they were sharing, and Harry wanted to as well.It was starting to go a little better, Harry’s shoulders relaxing just as he stepped on Cedric’s left foot. Harry jumped a little.  
“-Sorry!” He exclaimed, only to meet Cedric with a chuckle and a shake of the head  
“It’s alright, I couldn’t feel it, I have hard shoes on.” He says and continues to guide the two through the song, pulling Harry closer to avoid bumping into someone passing by behind them.

Harry’s heart rate increased as he was pulled closer to Cedric, his nose almost brushing Cedric’s chest. He tried to relax, looking away from the floor where he was trying to focus on positioning his feet, and started to follow the flow of the music. Cedric wouldn’t lie, and he would admit that Harry was an awful dancer, but that didn’t matter. Harry was starting to relax and loosen up, and that’s all that Cedric cared about. He smiled, his heart swelling as he watched the younger boy sway like a lost puppy. Cedric indeed had a crush on Harry, he had liked him ever since the two had met in Dumbledore’s office. There was something about the way he conducted himself. He wasn’t this stuck-up, knowledgeable student that other’s perceived him to be. He was no big legend or mystery. He was just Harry. He was clumsy, socially awkward and now and then, naive. But he was also funny, brave and above all, he was ordinary. He didn’t choose the life he was given, and if anything, he tried to hide it. His past was weighing heavily on his shoulders, and Cedric could see that. He wanted to help him.

Cedric wondered how Harry was able to protect him that night, the night Voldemort returned and Wormtail tried to kill him. Nothing should be able to deflect the killing curse. Only Harry had survived it before, and the details of how that happened were still a mystery to him. Cedric had never inquired Harry about his past before. He knew that everyone did that, and he didn’t want to do the same. He didn’t want Harry to think that he was only interested in his past and the misery behind his survival. Cedric cares about Harry because he was Harry, not because he was the Boy-Who-Lived.

Cedric didn’t push Harry away once they’d avoided bumping into someone on the dance floor, he kept Harry there, the two of them close enough for Harry to feel Cedric’s breath on his head. Cedric smiled and turned with Harry suddenly, making Harry call out in exclamation, but he chuckled after, smiling as Cedric caught him. Harry looked up at Cedric and felt his anxieties about getting the dance correct melt away. He wasn’t stepping on Cedric’s toes as much as he was before and he wasn’t paranoid about getting the dance correct either. He was just enjoying this moment. He forgot all about Slytherin table looking at them, and he doubted they could even see them since they were far into the crowd. He forgot about the expectations the teachers all had for him and all of the journalists too. He forgot about Ron and Hermione keeping an eye out for him throughout the night. He forgot about what others might think about Harry being spotted dating a boy. He didn’t think about anything else, apart from this shared moment. This moment with Cedric. He smiled a little more up at Cedric as the dance went on, and it was clear his nerves were slowly leaving him.

“Cedric, not too fast-“ He chuckled as Cedric spun Harry again, causing the younger boy to stumble a little bit, leaning forwards into Cedric’s chest to stop himself from actually tripping up. Cedric took that opportunity to attempt and lift harry by the waist, spinning him again. As Cedric held Harry’s waist, Harry guessed what would come next, and he panicked. What if he was too heavy for Cedric to pick up? What if he hit someone? Everyone would see him, they would stand out…  
“Cedric, no. Wait, no-“ It was too late, Harry was already a few feet off the ground and in Cedric’s arms, turning. Harry looked down to see Cedric’s big, bright smile looking up at him, and Harry couldn’t contain the bubbling feeling rising in his chest. Harry let out a laugh, a proper, unfiltered, unforced laugh. He laughed clearly and brightly, his eyes almost disappearing with his cheeks rising. He was placed back onto the floor gently, his shoes tapping the ground gently as he felt his weight go from Cedric’s hands to the ground.  
“See? Not that bad, Potter. Right?” Cedric chuckles, his face as bright as the sun to Harry, linking his hands back up with Harry, and Harry found his own way to Cedric’s waist this time.  
“Not bad, Diggory.” Harry confessed, smiling happily as he focused on the other man, swaying to the music obliviously, giddy after that sudden move. The song started to slow again, and Harry sighed happily, no longer being such a nervous wreck anymore. He smiled constantly, looking up at Cedric, not knowing why he was so shy before, when looking at him brought a sense of security and warmth to him. There it was again… that feeling. Harry still couldn’t work out what it was, and it was starting to get to him. What was it…

As if it couldn’t become any more obvious, Harry did indeed have a crush on Cedric, and Cedric had a returning crush on Harry. It was clear to anyone who looked at the pair. In that moment, everything seemed perfect. The two boys fit together like a piece of a puzzle, making each other whole. Harry needed someone who was kind and comforting. Someone who would accept his broken parts and help mend them back together. Someone who wouldn’t get fed up with hearing him toss and turn in the night, someone who wouldn’t blame him for his nightmares and his terrors throughout the day. Cedric also needed someone, someone to harden him up, to stop him taking everything to heart. He had so much to give that he needed to give his affection to someone. He was such an empath that he felt he struggled with his emotions, and meeting someone who would accept his kindness and love, at the correct time, was all the validation Cedric needed.

Ron and Hermione were watching, not joining in for this dance. Since the pair were in the same house, they chose to sit this one out. Harry and Cedric were deep in the crowd and so the pair had been trying to find them for a while, but Harry’s head was visible for just a moment above the crowd, and that helped the duo to find the pair. Since then, they’d been watching with big smiles on their faces. Harry’s laugh was just about audible from where they were, and it almost brought Hermione to tears. To hear Harry laugh in such a way… it felt like months since she’d heard him laugh like that, perhaps even a year. It was such a real laugh, full of happiness and giddiness. Hermione was glued to Ron’s side, the two exchanging glances between themselves and Harry. The two hoped that Harry would confess to Cedric tonight, and they believed that Cedric would feel the same way.

Harry’s happiness was all the duo wanted for their best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading chapter two of 'Can I have this dance?", I really appreciate your support!  
> Now you guys can see where the title of the fic comes from, didn't take long to get there I suppose. 
> 
> As always, I would really appreciate it if you guys left kudos and a comment to let me know what you thought, your support means the world to me and inspires me to continue writing, thank you for your continuing support and reads, I'll see you all again soon with chapter three, so please look forwards to that!


	3. The Stars

“Hermione, here, have some of this.” Harry said, smiling a little as he passed a goblet of pumpkin juice over to her. The three of them had flushed cheeks since the hall was getting hot and everyone was getting stuffy. Many people had already left, either with or without their dates. The hall had about a sixth of the people it originally had, and there was plenty of refreshments available, especially since they replenished themselves magically. It was times like these Harry was reminded how much he loved magic. Harry noticed how tired and hot Hermione was, and so he grabbed her some juice, knowing it would help. He took his place in a chair next to the three, continuing their conversation from earlier. Harry wasn’t entirely sure where Cedric went off to. After the cross-house dance, they’d taken part in a lot more dances after, feeling more confident as time passed on. Harry really didn’t need that liquid luck.

Harry assumed Cedric must’ve slipped out to visit the bathroom or freshen up. He’d told Harry he’d be back soon, but Harry was wondering if Cedric had stood him up. Had Cedric gotten bored of him? It had been almost 10 minutes now, so it wouldn’t be insane for him to think that Cedric had retired for the night without telling him. Harry was paranoid, paranoid that someone else he’d fallen to be comfortable around had abandoned him. Not Cedric, he kept telling himself. Cedric wouldn’t leave him, he couldn’t, he wouldn’t…

“Harry, come with me. I want to show you something.” A familiar voice whispered, light brown hair brushing the flushed boy’s face. Harry jumped, his deep thought being broken. His eyes darted from some abstract shape in front of him which he had focused on when in thought, to the person next to him. He pulled away from the close figure which was bent at the waist slightly. His eyes refocused, his glasses budging up his nose when Harry scrunched his nose.   
“Hm?” He asked, his thoughts of Cedric abandoning him fading away like a dream. Instead, he started wondering what it was Cedric wanted to show him. It was now 11PM, nearing the time the ball would end and students would be told to go back to their dormitories. Cedric must know this too.

Harry assumed he wouldn’t be returning the ball, considering the time. He was hesitant, not liking surprises, and he could tell by Cedric’s face that he wouldn’t be told what it is that the older boy was going to show him. Harry stood, turning to his friend’s who were talking between themselves, half his quidditch team joining the table as they saw Harry about to leave, exclaiming loudly how they were going to keep Ron and Hermione company.   
“Alright,” Harry says to Cedric before turning to Ron and Hermione quickly. “I’ll see you guys later,” He says, looking between the two, then raising his eyebrows. He felt Cedric’s presence leave his side, hearing his footsteps slowly back away, waiting for Harry to join him. Taking the opportunity, since Cedric wasn’t looking, Harry raised his eyebrows, giving the duo the ‘look’, as if to say ‘this might be the moment…’. He was met with a smirk from Ron, and a laugh from Hermione, who egged him on to go, shooing him away with a single hand. Harry swallowed nervously, pulling at his collar to loosen it, unbuttoning the top button, since he was already hot and bothered.

Catching up with Cedric’s heels, Harry decided to break the silence.   
“Diggory, where are you taking me?” He asks, with a somewhat brave smile. It was a habit now to call Cedric by his last name. Ever since the graveyard incident, Harry didn’t like to call out Cedric’s name too much, finding it reminded him of the time where he would scream and cry at Cedric’s lifeless form. Both in the graveyard, and in the infirmary. He got so many scoldings for sneaking out at night past curfew, doing his best to make it to the hospital ward to spend time with Cedric. Even if he was in a comatose state, there was no proving he couldn’t hear him. Harry spent many nights, holding his hand and talking to him. Mostly, he blamed himself for the entire incident, saying how he should’ve completely deflected the curse. Harry was still oblivious to how he managed to deflect the curse, but he would realise in time exactly how he did it.

“Don’t ask questions-“ Cedric said with a small smile, looking down at the smaller boy as they walked down the corridor. He looked at Harry for a second before looking forwards, taking them down a few turns and corners before Harry became confused. Cedric had lead the two to the courtyard, where the wind was cool and fair. It blew through the trees and it made the blades of grass dance on the ground like a million ballerinas. Harry looked around, and there was nobody there. He looked for any sign of what it was Cedric wanted to show him, but he couldn’t see anything of significant interest. The wind blew into his face, cooling his warm cheeks, stopping the blush being so violent. His hair, which was already wild, moved with the breeze, tickling his neck as his hair was still long at this point, a little longer than it was during the Triwizard tournament.

“Why are we in the courtyard? There’s nothing here…” Harry asks, looking at Cedric for his explanation. Cedric looks at Harry and raises an eyebrow before speaking.   
“Seriously, Harry? Nothing?” He asks and then smiles, his eyebrow smoothing out to match the rest of his perfectly sculpted face. “Look,” He says quietly, pointing upwards. Harry followed his gesture, and he only saw the pitch black sky. It was night, and he couldn’t see anything but the dark expanse. He kept staring though, and slowly but surely, as his eyes focused, he could make out the bright, shining lights from afar. His mouth parted slightly, looking up at the stars. Harry realised in that moment, that he hadn’t seen the stars in a long time. How long? He wasn’t even sure himself. The beauty of the orbs didn’t go under appreciated by Harry, who couldn’t stop staring at them. The light of the far off stars radiated over the courtyard, and the reflection could be seen in Harry’s round glasses.

“Wow, the stars…” Harry whispers under his breath, and it could’ve easily gone missed, if Cedric wasn’t listening closely for Harry’s reaction to the sight. Not only had Harry not seen the stars in ages, but the stars were somewhat brighter than usual on this perfectly clear night. The aura was unforgettable, the peacefulness of nature surrounding the two. The commotion of the ball was long gone, only the sound of some birds chirping quietly In the distance being audible. It was in that moment that Harry’s heart calmed. The anxieties of the night seemed to have fallen away, their weight melting to that of a feather. A small piece of peacefulness surrounded the two boys, allowing the two to access some solitude between them.   
“Harry,” Cedric spoke up after a few minutes, admiring the stars above them. “Thank you for tonight. I didn’t plan on coming to the ball until you invited me. I’d always… you know, hoped you’d ask me. But I didn’t think you’d want to go either. I thought you would’ve spent the evening in your common room with Weasley and Granger.” Cedric says, his eyes searching the night sky for smaller stars, seeking constellations.   
“-Ron and Hermione, you mean.” Harry says with a small smile, admiring the honourifics, something Harry never really saw the point of using himself. “You can use their names, they say yours enough.” Harry says with a light scoff, looking down, spotting the concrete bench which was stationed near the two. Harry walked forwards and sat on it, finding it easier to sit and talk. Cedric felt his presence move and of course, he followed the younger without question.

“Do they now?” Cedric asks with an eyebrow raised and then a small smile, which he attempted to hide. His dimple gave the smile away though. “Why do Wea-, Ron and Hermione, say my name a lot?” He asks curiously, even though he had a broad idea why. Harry rolled his eyes, catching Cedric’s gaze from the corner of both of their eyes, before the pair looked up again.   
“Well, you’re just so famous and popular, how could they not?” Harry says coyly, which was met with a response that Harry didn’t much like himself.  
“That’s you, not me.” Cedric says with a small smile, but he felt the shift in atmosphere, and he instantly regretted what he said. Harry’s gaze slowly dropped from the deep night, to his own hands in his lap. Cedric changed his posture, turning to Harry.  
“Oh, I’m sorry Harry, I didn’t think, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-“  
“It’s fine.” Harry says, swallowing thickly, sounding somewhat hurt.   
“No, I mean it, I didn’t mean to sound like that. I thought it was a funny turn, but it didn’t come out how I wanted it to.” Cedric tried to backtrack.

Harry didn’t respond for a moment, knowing that he should be used to being called famous, he just wasn’t able to accept it.   
“People don’t see what it’s like. Being me, it’s not as fun as people like to think it is.” Harry mutters, his feet dragging against the stone beneath them, scuffing his shoes. Cedric listened. He always did. He really listened, looking at Harry with his full attention, not looking anywhere else. He let Harry vent, not prompting him or pressing him, letting him get it off his chest on his own. On his own terms.“They haven’t seen what I have, or felt it. I don’t want to be legendary or… or a mystery to be discovered. I don’t care about any prophecy. I just...” Harry stopped, sighing. Chewing on his cheek, he rolled his shoulders, trying to shake off the thoughts that started to return, that feather-like weight returning at full speed - turning and converting into a tone of weights.   
“Harry, I’m not going to push you away. You can tell me what’s going on.” Cedric says simply, not dramatising or trying to persuade him.

Cedric’s calm speech and lenient personality, allowing Harry to choose if he wanted toped up or not, was enough to get him to do just that.   
“It’s just… terrifying.” Harry says finally, looking up from his hands to Cedric, meeting his beautiful brown eyes, full of attentiveness and care. Harry looked at those eyes, and he felt safer than looking into the dark. “I don’t sleep. At least, not well. I have these nightmares. Vivid nightmares, of things that have happened, things my mind has made up and things that will happen in the future… or at least I believe they’ll happen. On top of the nightmares, I just feel so scared, all the time.” He says, his eyes going between meeting Cedric’s, to staring at the floor.“Whenever I get a headache, or a twinge, I get scared he’s coming for me. What if it’s a sign, a sign he’s coming back. He’s out there, we both know that now. I hear voices sometimes, and I get thrown into this panic. I feel so scared… it’s just, hard.” Harry vents, not telling anyone else this.

Harry suffered from chronic PTSD and schizophrenia, which was only to be expected. Ever since a child he was treated poorly, but it wasn’t until he came into contact with Voldemort himself In his first year, that harm started to begin. In his second year and beyond, he started to become paranoid that he was hearing voices everywhere. Even after the events that occurred in the chamber of secrets, he was still convinced there were voices persuading him to do bad things. It manifested into schizophrenia, always checking his shadow, thinking something was following him constantly. It didn’t help with the fact that Voldemort and his death eaters were in fact following him, tracking his every move for the perfect time to attack. Every year progressed, getting worse. In his fourth year especially, with the graveyard confrontal, things got worse. Harry’s development of PTSD kicked in almost instantly after he returned from the event. He constantly had nightmares about the events, and his nightmares only ever got worse with time. He would be triggered now and again, melting into his anxieties. He would always do his best to leave the company he had, fleeing to somewhere private, where he would be submitted into a panic attack. The constant flashbacks and voices never gave him a break. It was so hard, living a nightmare each day. Harry did his best to hide it. Avoiding his triggers and doing his best to try and be normal. He had to try, he had to convince the world that The-Boy-Who-Lived was actually stronger than he was. He had to be the one to defeat the Dark Lord.

“I know, I sound insane.” Harry says with a shaky sigh, not looking at Cedric, trying his best not to let his emotions get the best of him. He needed to keep his barriers up with everyone. He couldn’t let himself go.   
“No, Harry. You don’t sound insane. You’d sound insane if you didn’t have these things going on. Come on, you’ve had the world on your shoulders since you were eleven. Not to mention the Dursley’s. You’ve told me about them, and it’s only normal that you feel this way and have these things going on. I’m not telling you you’re insane, because you’re not.” Cedric says, shaking his head at Harry’s remarks about being insane.   
“Look… Ced-“ Harry stopped at his name, always finding it rather hard to say to his face. He looked at the seventh year’s face, bringing up the courage to say it, especially when he was this vulnerable. “C-Cedric, I don’t want you to get hurt. I keep all this stuff to myself, because it’s easier to do that than risk losing someone else.” Harry says carefully, trying not to say anything too risky. He didn’t want to blurt out his feelings to Cedric, he couldn’t do that. His mind telling him that doing that, would be too dangerous.   
“Harry, I won’t get hurt, what do you think is going to hurt me?” Cedric asks, his eyebrows knitted together almost in the perfect ‘V’ shape, his concern bleeding through.

Harry didn’t need to react much for Cedric to get what he was thinking. Who else.   
“Harry, he won’t attack me for no reason. Anyways, if you let me in… I’ll stay with you. Fight with you… whatever you need, I’ll-“  
“No, Cedric. That’s exactly the problem.” Harry says, straightening his back as he looked at the taller boy next to him, confiding. “If you get too close, you’ll get hurt. He will go through my closest friends and family to get to me. Don’t think for a moment he wouldn’t torture you… or kill you-“ Harry gulped, closing his eyes tightly as the image of Cedric’s body being flung across the graveyard reappeared into his mind.  
“He won’t stop, until he’s got me. If you try to fight and protect me… you’ll just be killing yourself. That’s why…. That’s why I to keep it to myself.” He vents, sighing heavily.

Cedric listened and processed it, but he couldn’t help but find errors in Harry’s thoughts, finding his mindset astonishing. He wondered if Harry pushed Ron and Hermione away like this, (to no surprise, yes… he did.).  
“Do you really think that I won’t fight to protect you, with or without your approval?” Cedric asks carefully, his hand resting on the bench next to Harry’s. Cedric saw Harry’s look of disapproval and continued before he could protest. “You can’t do this alone, no matter what you think. You need me, Harry. The same way you need Hermione and Ron. You need people to help you, you can’t win this war alone. The only thing, is that if you tell me and others what’s going on, we will be able to help more. Shutting us out, is what puts us at risk. We need to know what’s happening.” Cedric explains, leaving Harry speechless.   
“…I don’t need you the same as the others.” Was all Harry could muster, looking away. Cedric saw Harry’s expression as he said that, seeing how his expression softened ever so slightly. Cedric bit his own lip, wondering if Harry was insinuating that he was less important than his other friends, or more. He wasn’t going to assume either way, not wanting to take it the wrong way. He hoped at least, that he was important to Harry. He was sure that was the case, surely… Harry cared so much for him, at least, that’s what people told him once he’d come back out of his coma. Perhaps it was selfish for Cedric to hope that he was more important to Harry than Ron and Hermione, but it was because to Cedric, Harry was more important than anything else. Even his own life. He would fight t protect Harry any time. Without a doubt.

Harry had looked away from Cedric as soon as he has let it slip that Cedric wasn’t the same as his other friends. He played with his dress robe nervously, he was right. Cedric wasn’t the same as his other friends. It was still true that he needed Cedric, but in another way. \

He liked, dare he even say, loved - Cedric Diggory.

He couldn’t put him at the same risk as the others. He wanted to keep him safe, but Cedric was right. In order to keep him safe, Harry would need learn to let him in.


End file.
